Happy Birthday, My Love

by | Jan 7, 2022 | Relationships | 4 comments

Dear Eric,

It almost feels like we’ve known each other for eternity, like there is no beginning to our relationship and we’ve always just…been. So, it’s fitting that I don’t know where to start this letter. Sure, we met on a certain day, in a specific location. But I think we can both admit that when we met, it felt more like a reunion, like we’d known each other in another life. It felt like I’d finally made it home after a long and arduous journey. And it felt like you’d been patiently waiting for me, like there was no particular rush because you knew I’d reach you when the time was right. I was tired, but your energy ignited me. And it was a rush that felt familiar and novel all at once.

Some people recall experiencing butterflies in the beginning of their relationship. I experience them, too. Sometimes, I can hardly contain them and my body contorts to release the giddiness inside. You tease me for that, but I forgive you (and secretly, I kind of like it). Some people describe the beginning of their relationship as the honeymoon phase. I thought we were experiencing the honeymoon phase as well. But I’m pretty confident that this is just how we are, and I hope we continue to be this way. Let’s just agree not to be the couple that shares the bathroom at the same time, one brushing their teeth while the other is on the toilet—minty fresh taste in my mouth and the smell of sh*t hitting my nostrils, no thanks.

I knew our relationship was unlike any other when I learned that the sound of your snoring and the weight of your heavy arm around my waist at night was comforting to me, despite how loud you were in my ear or how much heat was radiating from your body. It’s too silent when we’re apart, and this body pillow that I sleep with is a poor substitute for your presence.  I knew our relationship was unlike any other when I felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you and to be myself. I had become so conditioned to present myself as the smart and talented person who is always eager to learn and please others, and distance herself from conflict. I had become someone who represented the palatable side of Blackness. It was a beautiful, tortuous mask, but too heavy to wear all the time. By the end of our third conversation, I knew I’d never have to hide myself from you. Behind the façade, I’m fragile, and silly, and I ask dumb questions or fumble through what I’m trying to say, I can be lazy, I don’t have to keep up with politics or debate why my life matters… and all the while I don’t fear judgment from you. I’m not afraid to mess up or fall apart. I can be human. I can be vulnerable.

I don’t know how it came to be this way. I suspect it was your openness and honesty from the beginning, and a touch of your charm. It was also your willingness to tell the whole truth, even when you couldn’t wrap it in a neat bow. And if you could be real with me, I felt it was safe to be real with you. Now, I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I bet you’d stare at the way your cheeks force your eyes closed when you’re really happy. You’d see ‘I love you’ in a glance, and our whole future in just one look. You’d see that the best is yet to come and you’d get a rush that feels familiar yet still unknown.

I wish you could feel, from my perspective, what it’s like to be loved by you. You’d be so giddy you could hardly contain it, and then I would tease you for the way you shrink inside your shoulders or kick your legs under the covers at night. It’d all make sense you then.

I love how kind and thoughtful you are. The smallest gestures have the grandest impact—the flowers and little notes, clean dishes, made-up bed, the ceiling fans and filters, staying home and looking after my dad so I could leave the house. And the biggest gesture, like everything about our Canada trip, cemented what I already knew to be true about you—that you are the sweeterest man and that makes me the luckiest woman. I love how affectionate you are and I appreciate that you’ve been paying down your debt of kisses. Unfortunately, the interest rate is so high that you will always be indebted to me. I hope you don’t mind. I love how you capture our moments together (even the embarrassing ones of me dancing) and I hope those videos make you happy. You deserve to be happy.

I love how you value people and experiences over things. I love how you love your family, and how you talk about them with respect and admiration. I love how easily you’re able to start a conversation on an interesting topic or piggy back off of a subject from Squadd Cast and other YouTube shows. I love that you include me and want to know what I think. I love how you spend hours editing your NBA2K draft class and little to no time actually playing the game. And when you do play the game, you lose. A lot. I love that for you. Builds character.

I guess what I’m trying to say is “if I know what love is, it is because of you.”

Happy birthday, my love.

Ambra

What Folks are Saying

4 Comments

  1. Eric Bunyan

    You are officially the sweeterest, indefinitely, for that gift. Thank you, baby! No one has ever (or could ever) give me anything that means more than your expression of love. I appreciate you so much. You really are the best person I know.

  2. Monica

    So sweet! I love how you capture vulnerability. It’s amazing when you have a partner that accepts and loves all of you, flaws included!

  3. Tammy Jordan

    Ambra I am so happy that you feel that way about Eric. When I first seen his face I already knew I liked him and he was the one for you. You waited a long time for someone to come along that you could trust. God put people together for reasons. And this reason is for me to have another grandchild. Lol happy birthday Eric I’m glad my daughter feels that way about you. I hope you feel the same. May God bless you both. Mommy

    • Eric Bunyan

      I do feel the same way, Tammy. Your daughter is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m glad you approve and thanks for the birthday wishes.